this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize