So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
