summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
