Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
