He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
