bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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