Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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