Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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