i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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