"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
