She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
