What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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