i think my mom watched the whole time
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
