sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
