I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
