i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
