is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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