ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
