had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
