Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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