am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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