He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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