my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
