your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
