i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
