He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
