Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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