Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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