now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
