she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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