just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
