Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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