long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
