hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
