my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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