but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
