Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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