Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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