she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
