I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
