I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
