they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only a mothe r could love this liver
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
