Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize