pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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