she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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