Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
