A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
