Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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