I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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