im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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