but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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