I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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