It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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