Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
