I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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