I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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