Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
