kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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