she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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