Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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